Falling short isn’t falling off.

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The season of Lent is not to be confused as a season of perfection, and it is easy to get frustrated when there is a failure to stick to the plan. You might have purchase something you did not intend to, turned on the app you swore you wouldn’t, or eaten something you aimed to avoid.

The perfect season is not something I have experienced, and it is important to remember that you very well might not keep a perfect record during this period of examination and reflection.

My 40 days of letting go included several different things and one Sunday after getting some horrible news, Rebecca decided she wanted to purchase something for my birthday. Walking through Ikea we were browsing desks, chairs and bookshelves for my office. We made  a decision, left the store, headed home and put the items together.

Where I did not intend on purchasing anything during Lent, I did not want to deprive my wife of an opportunity to purchase me something I would find immense value in. But when everything was put together and I sat at my new desk, I felt myself empty as I did several hours prior grieving the loss of our miscarried child.

Getting up to spend the rest of the evening with Rebecca, we ordered pizza, I grabbed a beer and we watched a movie. My heart still empty with my pacifiers failing to alleviate the pain. I allowed my grief to become an excuse to indulge the pacifiers I originally desired to temporarily deprive myself off.

Over the remaining period, I will reflect on how pacifiers have been used to console me impetuously to leave me lacking in any sense of lasting pleasure or joy.

Falling short is not falling off. Pick yourself up, plant your feet, and continue the difficult contemplative climb as we near the final days of Lent.

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